Your type: SCTI - Structured, Compromiser, Temperate, Introvert
You have strong opinions and you like things "just so". Still, your personality is modified by the fact you are willing to let someone else take the lead. You tend to be the person in the relationship that lets the other person dominate a large number of decisions. Most of the time, that doesn't bother you. You are more likely to have many private thoughts about what is going on in the relationship (or your life) before sharing your thoughts with a partner. This has some very good aspects to it. You are unlikely to erupt impetuously and cause arguments that way. On the other hand, you will often come to your opinions and conclusions by yourself, rather than through mutual discussion. This can be alienating to an extrovert. You might want someone who is like yourself and understands this. On the other hand, without an extrovert, things may stay bottled up and become big problems that could have been handled easier, earlier.
You have strong opinions and you like things "just so". Still, your personality is modified by the fact you are willing to let someone else take the lead. You tend to be the person in the relationship that lets the other person dominate a large number of decisions. Most of the time, that doesn't bother you. You are more likely to have many private thoughts about what is going on in the relationship (or your life) before sharing your thoughts with a partner. This has some very good aspects to it. You are unlikely to erupt impetuously and cause arguments that way. On the other hand, you will often come to your opinions and conclusions by yourself, rather than through mutual discussion. This can be alienating to an extrovert. You might want someone who is like yourself and understands this. On the other hand, without an extrovert, things may stay bottled up and become big problems that could have been handled easier, earlier.
Flexibility
Possible Test Outcomes F - Flexible S - Structured
How this impacts the relationship: It makes good sense for at least one partner in a relationship to have some flexibility and not be determined to have things happen only one way. While it��s possible for two partners to be inflexible and highly opinionated about issues or lifestyle choices, this only works if the two people see the world in very similar ways and agree on appropriate actions and feelings. Otherwise, there��s a high chance for conflict as two people "set in their ways" hold their ground. Likewise, if neither partner cares much for how things are done, one or both partners may feel there��s no easy way to come to decisions. Or they might feel strongly about decisions and want to be sure that each partner is really being honest or fulfilled in the way their lives are being lived. Couples who are both highly flexible and have never vested their opinions and worked out their preferences may appear highly successful and perfectly matched on the surface �V but may drift apart because they haven��t engaged on matters of importance. A sub-category of this type may be that more rigid partners have a need to plan. Whereas their more flexible counterparts are happy being spontaneous. In an extreme situation, there��s no spontaneity when both partners are highly structured (and life gets boring) or both partners never plan and many things never happen (which gets disappointing).
Power Nature
Possible Test Outcomes D - Dominant C - Compromiser/Follower
How this impacts the relationship: Women are often drawn to a more dominant partner, perhaps because of social expectations or because men usually earn more than women and women often seek men to create security and leadership in their lives. Likewise, men have traditionally looked for women who would create a home, family and companionship, but not to be a peer or competitor in the workforce. This is changing rapidly, but in order to find the right partner, it��s important to be honest about whether or not one is seeking someone who is more, or less dominant, or evenly matched. If a person wants someone to take the lead, they��ll be disappointed if that person wants to share the lead, or be led. If someone naturally dominates, they won��t want resistance or anger. They��ll want gratitude. A new mode is sharing spheres of dominance and allocating times or areas for shifting the burden or privilege of leadership, depending on how you look at it. Many strong "Alpha" females want an even stronger Alpha male to make them feel they can occasionally relax and be taken care of. Some "new men" are happy to take on more domestic roles, or, at least occasionally, have a peer relationship where their female partner takes the lead in decision-making and bread-winning. There are also women who absolutely want to avoid any dominance by a man and don��t want to have their important values or lifestyle choices challenged. A high dominant woman might want a man who is more nurturing than dominant to help create a home life that she may be less likely to provide.
Temperament
Possible Test Outcomes H - Hot T - Temperate
How this impacts the relationship: Two passionate people may do fine together because they��re able to get their feelings out. They also may be more likely to solve their problems because they know who they are. Nonetheless, having equally hot temperaments is more likely to result in destructive conflict. It might be better to find someone who would know when to exercise restraint. On the other hand, when both partners share cool temperaments, it��s possible the real issues get shelved and the couple creates a working relationship that never deals with the issues that need attention. Two people who constantly avoid conflict may become more and more distant and the relationship could just coolly drift away, diminishing in importance and intimacy. A matched style of communication may work well when both partners are neither too hot-headed or too distant and cool. But if the difference in temperaments is significant, it can possibly be good for a relationship. It helps the person who��s passionate become more moderate with their reactions and over-dramatizations. Likewise, the more cool and emotionally rational person can learn to understand emotions and get in touch with their own feelings. Difference in this category may cause some conflict but it will also increase growth.
Emotional Sustenance
Possible Test Outcomes I - Introvert/Self-Nurturing E - Extrovert/People Person
How this impacts the relationship: This classic dimension has been proven to be important in couple compatibility. It��s not so much that individuals have to be the same, but they need to understand their own style, their partner's style and how to know how this will affect their communication, feelings of being nurtured, supported or left alone. People vary on how much alone time they need to regenerate. Some people don��t enjoy or derive comfort from spending time alone. Others need that time to reflect, heal, or make decisions. They may be social and enjoy people but when under pressure, they need personal space, not social support. Other people run to family, friends or co-workers to tell their troubles and get advice and support for their feelings and actions. People who vent and gain strength from the discussion may feel rejected if their partner won��t perform this function. It��s very important to understand if differences exist. If one person is self-nurturing and the other needs the significant people in their lives to be present and engaged, both partners need to understand that neither person is rejecting or harassing the other. They simply solve problems in different ways. If both partners are unwilling to open up and make their partner feel needed, if they never let the other person into their most private distress or private thoughts, the relationship may be emotionally disconnected. Conversely, if someone who gains strength from sharing widely takes their most intimate details out of the relationship, there��s a chance that other relationships would become equally intimate and could lead the person away from focusing on their primary relationship. Some kind of harmony here works best.
There��s one more thing to consider with this characteristic. You may be attracted to someone who is cool and controlled because you mistake their temperament for strength rather than emotional privacy. If someone is both a T and an I, they may not be emotionally available much of the time. This can be fine for two people who have the same emotional profile, but it can frustrate a true Extrovert enormously. Introverts who want to connect more emotionally will do well to find an Extrovert. But Extroverts who seek an Introvert who��s reluctant to modify his or her emotional make-up may feel their partner withdraws from their requests for intimacy and is rejecting them.
Possible Test Outcomes F - Flexible S - Structured
How this impacts the relationship: It makes good sense for at least one partner in a relationship to have some flexibility and not be determined to have things happen only one way. While it��s possible for two partners to be inflexible and highly opinionated about issues or lifestyle choices, this only works if the two people see the world in very similar ways and agree on appropriate actions and feelings. Otherwise, there��s a high chance for conflict as two people "set in their ways" hold their ground. Likewise, if neither partner cares much for how things are done, one or both partners may feel there��s no easy way to come to decisions. Or they might feel strongly about decisions and want to be sure that each partner is really being honest or fulfilled in the way their lives are being lived. Couples who are both highly flexible and have never vested their opinions and worked out their preferences may appear highly successful and perfectly matched on the surface �V but may drift apart because they haven��t engaged on matters of importance. A sub-category of this type may be that more rigid partners have a need to plan. Whereas their more flexible counterparts are happy being spontaneous. In an extreme situation, there��s no spontaneity when both partners are highly structured (and life gets boring) or both partners never plan and many things never happen (which gets disappointing).
Power Nature
Possible Test Outcomes D - Dominant C - Compromiser/Follower
How this impacts the relationship: Women are often drawn to a more dominant partner, perhaps because of social expectations or because men usually earn more than women and women often seek men to create security and leadership in their lives. Likewise, men have traditionally looked for women who would create a home, family and companionship, but not to be a peer or competitor in the workforce. This is changing rapidly, but in order to find the right partner, it��s important to be honest about whether or not one is seeking someone who is more, or less dominant, or evenly matched. If a person wants someone to take the lead, they��ll be disappointed if that person wants to share the lead, or be led. If someone naturally dominates, they won��t want resistance or anger. They��ll want gratitude. A new mode is sharing spheres of dominance and allocating times or areas for shifting the burden or privilege of leadership, depending on how you look at it. Many strong "Alpha" females want an even stronger Alpha male to make them feel they can occasionally relax and be taken care of. Some "new men" are happy to take on more domestic roles, or, at least occasionally, have a peer relationship where their female partner takes the lead in decision-making and bread-winning. There are also women who absolutely want to avoid any dominance by a man and don��t want to have their important values or lifestyle choices challenged. A high dominant woman might want a man who is more nurturing than dominant to help create a home life that she may be less likely to provide.
Temperament
Possible Test Outcomes H - Hot T - Temperate
How this impacts the relationship: Two passionate people may do fine together because they��re able to get their feelings out. They also may be more likely to solve their problems because they know who they are. Nonetheless, having equally hot temperaments is more likely to result in destructive conflict. It might be better to find someone who would know when to exercise restraint. On the other hand, when both partners share cool temperaments, it��s possible the real issues get shelved and the couple creates a working relationship that never deals with the issues that need attention. Two people who constantly avoid conflict may become more and more distant and the relationship could just coolly drift away, diminishing in importance and intimacy. A matched style of communication may work well when both partners are neither too hot-headed or too distant and cool. But if the difference in temperaments is significant, it can possibly be good for a relationship. It helps the person who��s passionate become more moderate with their reactions and over-dramatizations. Likewise, the more cool and emotionally rational person can learn to understand emotions and get in touch with their own feelings. Difference in this category may cause some conflict but it will also increase growth.
Emotional Sustenance
Possible Test Outcomes I - Introvert/Self-Nurturing E - Extrovert/People Person
How this impacts the relationship: This classic dimension has been proven to be important in couple compatibility. It��s not so much that individuals have to be the same, but they need to understand their own style, their partner's style and how to know how this will affect their communication, feelings of being nurtured, supported or left alone. People vary on how much alone time they need to regenerate. Some people don��t enjoy or derive comfort from spending time alone. Others need that time to reflect, heal, or make decisions. They may be social and enjoy people but when under pressure, they need personal space, not social support. Other people run to family, friends or co-workers to tell their troubles and get advice and support for their feelings and actions. People who vent and gain strength from the discussion may feel rejected if their partner won��t perform this function. It��s very important to understand if differences exist. If one person is self-nurturing and the other needs the significant people in their lives to be present and engaged, both partners need to understand that neither person is rejecting or harassing the other. They simply solve problems in different ways. If both partners are unwilling to open up and make their partner feel needed, if they never let the other person into their most private distress or private thoughts, the relationship may be emotionally disconnected. Conversely, if someone who gains strength from sharing widely takes their most intimate details out of the relationship, there��s a chance that other relationships would become equally intimate and could lead the person away from focusing on their primary relationship. Some kind of harmony here works best.
There��s one more thing to consider with this characteristic. You may be attracted to someone who is cool and controlled because you mistake their temperament for strength rather than emotional privacy. If someone is both a T and an I, they may not be emotionally available much of the time. This can be fine for two people who have the same emotional profile, but it can frustrate a true Extrovert enormously. Introverts who want to connect more emotionally will do well to find an Extrovert. But Extroverts who seek an Introvert who��s reluctant to modify his or her emotional make-up may feel their partner withdraws from their requests for intimacy and is rejecting them.
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